To Be Good? or To Be Good?

Assalamualaikum y'all!

Yea I know, I know... haven't update my blog for like emhh few months? yea rite.. been busy with campus life and so.. doing degree is killing me man.. sue me but that's the truth.. ouh yes before I forgot how's everyone back there? doin' fine guys? good? Alhamdulillah hope semua sihat wal'afiat lah ye..

So today's topic pasal baik vs. buruk.. can anyone define me baik? and can anyone tell me what is the bad thing? sebab i quite confuse with this, no?  baru je lepas membaca buku yea penulis kesayangan saya Hlovate which is Anthem and yes lagi sekali Hlovate bawak saya masuk ke dalam hidup "itu" mengenal sesuatu yg selama ini boleh kata di abaikan.. dan betul lah dia berdakwah secara penulisan.. from aA+bB, Schuberts, Pelangi, Rooftop rant, 5Tahun 5Bulan, Versus, Contengan jalan sampai la dekat Anthem ni semua pun pasa mcm mana nk jd baik, dan seriously semua tu terkena pada diri sendiri.. classified my self? biar lah Allah je yang tahu...

so as we know and as I knw that my final will be around the corner for this semester and yes I am in the middle of struggling my self untuk semester ni cuz it is the starting of my degree life ... and yea rasanya untu semester ni mmg dah bnyk lah nmpk perangai manusia2 keliling dgn jelas lagi nyatanya :) dan betul lah manusia ni lagi bnyk bercakap dr buat.. dan betul la mmg susah nk masuk dalam "kalangan" itu bila kita sendiri sebenarnya nk cuba ubah untuk sesuatu yg lebih baik...

but somehow, still I wonder knp tiap kali I told my friend that I wanted to be budak "Baik" confirm kena gelak.. is it because of the old me yg sebelum ni dorg kenal or because of they are actually afraid that I won't hang up with them anymore? or sebenarnya dorg takut that I will walk away? could some one define me with that? hmmm.. they judge me before they know me.. mmg typical orang kita mcm tu ke? atau sebenarnya.... haishhh..

Betul la tu mmg sangat unfair sebenarnya...

 
Tapi betul ke kalau nak buat benda baik tu mmg susah ey? mmg payah ey? tp knp bila nk buat benda jahat tu senang sgt? trying to do better things each day but seems like too much of challenge back there.. sometime u will be stuck in the middle of action and think twice on doing right things but u never hesitate  when u wanna do the bad thing.. and yes for that always pray for HIS guide.. so that u won't jump into the hell hole which n which will make u suffer? but after all its ur call back there to do right or do wrong..

Dan mungkin dah tiba masa untuk cuti panjang sem ni rasa mcm bnyk je benda nk buat.. mungkin dah sampai masa nk kukuh kan diri? :) utk umur sekarang ni saya x kisah kalau org ckp knp nk stop from having fun.. but for me u can have fun in lots of way u know? I've been in those night mares and to live up for what I am now.. its like pulling a thorn out of ur eyes.. pain? indeed it is.. and that is why am saying.. the fun life is no longer like I used to be before.. but am still having fun with my family and friend in other way.. and yes utk umur sekarang ni 21 tahun masih muda, knp perlu fikir untuk akhirat? sebab MATI itu x kira umur.. dan saya rasa saya blm cukup prepare lg diri ni untuk menghadap yang HAQ.. kadang2 terfikir.. apa yg nak di jawap? mungkin cuti ni bnyk benda yg boleh di buat.. mcm2 boleh di pelajari.. study for better day... and dah smpai masa untuk lihat ke hadapan.. sebab hidup ni sementara dan kita je yg punya kunci amalan di sana dan dah tiba masanya untuk kita sendiri yg pilih kunci yg mana kita nak untuk memiliki atau pun untuk kita biarkan saja kunci tu pergi.. tapi mampu ke kita nak tahan azab seksa nnt? uhh scary, no? yes? fikir lah sendiri :) sebab i don't have the power of judgment sbb untuk judgment ni Allah je yang buat dan kita hanya follow what he had said in the Quran... and what our Prophet S.A.W had told us before..

The Heaven Keys is with us choose the best..

p/s:  guys I love u more then what you think.. you won't lose me, it just that In Sya Allah with HIS will you guys will have the better me.. I just need your support.. not ur laugh nor ur disappearance .. and seriously I miss you guys big time.. living in this creepy world with out u guys made me suffer more.. but still Allah show me the path to live up.. to breath.. remember how u pull me up from the thorn? n do u still remember how much did I cry for those years? I miss you guys big.. and after all I still am ur baby sister.. :'( so pls stay!

We live in this world as a traveler right? and we travel all the way just to find the right path? So GUIDE me, if am wrong..

Another Story of EE

This is another story of EE…

I was knowing with this guy.. and without realized that am actually like em.. and without knowing there is something that start to grow inside my heart.. man I should know it from the start the way how to limit this feelings.. knew that he is belong to someone cuz he told me once.. but day after day this feelings grew too fast until I can’t realize that the L word start to grow.. 

OMG! OMG! OMG!

Why didn’t I told him on the day he ask me if I love him, or am I being hypocrite and ego to myself for denying all of the word that he ask me.. Only Allah knows now…  I didn’t realized not until his being silent without a word.. am I the one who to blame? I try to deny it, I try to being realistic, make it as I never know him.. try to forget the last msg that I receive.  I try to keep it inside my mind that his belongs to other but why can’t my heart accept it? What hold me from moving on to something better? Or is it my fault? Am I the one who be blame in this chapter? But for what reasons? For keeping my feelings for him even I know his belong to another girl? Or should I be blamed for being egoistic and hypocrite from my own feelings?  I try to tell but there is something that hold my back.. something that didn’t  want to let me speak… 

Dear Allah,

Please guide me to the path of Jannah.. guide me to live in peace and love, guide me to tell, guide me to let it go from my heart.. Lord please guide me in each and every second that I do to be better, heal this pain.. wipe this tears away.. cuz I can’t live with a broken heart but most make me love u more that I love the other…

Cry, Laugh, Love...

Assalamualaikum Kesayangan2 Beta!

Hehehe…. Amacam semua? Sihat ke? Ye saya tahu blog saya dah bersarang mintak ampun tuan dia bersihkan.. hahaha no worries saya kembali untuk membersihkan sensawang sensawang yang hade nih.. soooo apa cer eh kali ni? Ada happy? Takda happy? :D harap2 semua happy2 lah selalu ek?

Okeh sedar x sedar saya sebenarnya dah masuk 5 bulan pun meninggalkan Alor Star… uyooo tempat jatuh lagi di kenang inikan pulak tempat saya menimba ilmu.. iskiskisk…  betul la saya rindu suasana indah permai desa dgn sawah terbentang nan luas depan mata yang mana bila bukak aje pintu rumah tu dah nmpk sawah n bila tgk lagi sekali eh eh! da nmpk kolej! Ngehehehe… *jangan wat gila x mai kuliah naa sat g pintu ghumah kena ketuk dgn lecturer sbb suh p kelas*  wakakaka… tp so far Alhamdulillah belum la sampai ke tahap itu kan sbb ye la saya ni kan anak murid yang “Palingggg RAJIN” datang kelas… hahaha….Betul la zaman dah berubah dan sedar x sedar dah 2 tahun dekat Alor Star dan dah pun selamat habiskan zaman Diploma dekat KPTM sana..

Tetiba teringat masa-masa kritikal nak pulun buat assignment dengan semua orang, haha sampai ada masa tak kenal kami ni group siapa sebenarnya eh? Sebab mmg dah x rasa perbezaan pun semua buat kerja sama2.. eh lagi seronok masa kuiz, test, sbb masa tu lah masa kenakalan kami ya maha hebat! Hahaha agak2 kalau cerita balik kat lecturer kami mesti dorg rasa nak hempuk kami semua dgn kayu baseball kot? Hahahaha… tapi memang kami ni suka work together dan yes kami digelar THE CHEVEYO CREW.. wahhh nampak x kat situ? Gaduh macam mana sekali pun kami bonding tetap sama2 sampai orang kadang2 fikir 2-3 kali nk usik ke eh group ni? Sebab kami ni nampak mcm x sama2 tapi bila sorg je sakit semua pun sama rasanya.. dan betul lah saya rasa bersyukur sebab dapat classmate yang macam mereka.

Cheveyo Rock!

Never thought to have such wonderful moment with them, team building kukuh, hatta kalau kena badai sekalipun retak tiba2 Insya’Allah keretakkan itu mampu kami kukuhkan balik.  Senang cakap masa zaman kritikal sem 4 n sem 5 la paling nmpk ketara dia. Masa zaman buat event Teratak Melayu kan? Semua orang sibuk mana nk kejar assignment, mana nak kejar event, tapi itu memang pengalaman yg SUUUWEETTTTTTTTTT sgt! Hahaha.. gaduh sampai rasa mcm nk lempang, tumbuk, sepak, terajang semua ada aihh.. tapi bila duduk semeja bincang apa masalah.. habis bincang masuk kelas buat mcm biasa tegur macam biasa :D cakap macam biasa.. huhuhu.. dan sem 5 pulak? Ouh ya sem kritikal bila semua org dapat extra extra extra assignment dr lecturer sampai tahap masing2 dah nak tersungkur syahid je jalan bila nak pegi kelas, sampai makan ntah kemana, tidur entah kemana.. masa tu fikir “kerja kena siap” hahaha.. dan betul la bila selesai je semua tu mmg rasa lega yang teramat sangat…

The Sweet and Sour of US

Hehehe.. lega ye la lega.. habis je selesai assignment semua tu haa memasing pun mula la berjoli katak! Acaha2 macam dah habis x ada final la KONONNYA.. ahahahaha ye la betul la lepas habis siap semua assignment tu mmg kene pegi enjoy pon almaklum la nk masuk medan perang lepas tu, so nak x nak kene la prepare mindakan, relaxkan otak yang dah mcm mintak nyawa je nak terus menerus membaham semua nota yang di buat tu utk dihadam dalam ingatan supaya nak menjawap soalan nnt senang.  Kikiki tapi tak jugak joli joli katak, pejam celik pejam celik dah esok tu final haa baru kelam kabut masing2 nak membaca kikiki.. nasib laaaaa study group last minit and lagi nasib baik sebab final petang so mmg sempat nk menela’ah.. iskiskisk.. bad habits! JGN BUAT LAGI NAA TIME DEGREE! Hahahaha.. tapi syukur lah semua org lepas, dapat pulak classmate and housemate yang mmg ngam! Tak berkira, tu betul punya RAHMAT ALLAH la orang kata sanggup study sama2 tolong mana yang terdaya, ajar mana yang termampu, biarpun dah tahap study last minit.. hahaha.. teruk nau perangai memasing yek?!!! Hahahaha….

Dan betullah tiap pertemuan itu akan ada perpisahan.. sedar mahu pun tidak semuanya dah berlalu, masa cepat sangat2 cemburu tengok kami bersama, jodoh tu dah ditentukan, dekat KPTM ALOR STAR ni kami berjumpa, belajar, bermain, menangis sama-sama.. dan dekat KPTM Alor Star ni jugak lah kami kenal erti kawan dengan sahabat. Sungguh lah experience yang sangat tidak terhingga.. thanks guys.. Thank God that I’ve found you… dan ouh ya BTW Terima Kasih duhai guru2 saya and seriously segala ilmu dan kebaikkan yang di beri tidak terbalas oleh saya.. Thank You So Much! Sir Shukran, Teach Naza, Miss Farah, Madam Eja, Madam Sharizat, Madam Nurul, Madam Nurul Huda, Sir Wan Hizam, Sir Akmal, Madam Norma, Madam Sharifah, Miss Lydia, Sir Zaki, Ustazah Azuriah, Ustazah Suhaida, Lee Lao Shi, and All of the lectures thank you for helping me in those difficult time during my diploma, thank you.   May The Almighty Allah S.W.T. bless all of you in every single thing that you do. Amin.